I am overjoyed. I am full of excitement for all that I want to do this year and am motivated to reach my goals more than ever. I want 2020 to be the year I grow in so many ways. I AM YOUNG! I have so much time ahead of me and this is a great time to experiment and try new things in my life to find where I belong.

I am anxious. I am so beyond stressed and scared that at 24 I still don’t know what I actually want to do with my life. I still live at home and can’t decide when or where to move. At 24 so many of my family members were married, living in a house and already deep into their careers. I AM LATE TO THE GAME!

I know I am not alone or the first person to feel this way. We are being pulled in so many directions. We are wanting to explore the world, find ourselves and what we are passionate about. We want to do all the things that we may not be able to do one day when we are caring for our children or pets or paying mortgage. But we also are wanting to start our lives and families. We are surrounded by stories of people’s lives being taken too soon which engulfs us in this fear of losing the people closest to our hearts. We all want our dads to walk us down the aisle or teach our sons how to throw a ball and be kind. We want our moms to teach our daughters how to be strong and fight for what they believe in. Our grandmas to teach them to make the world’s best chocolate chip cookies and our grandpas to take the hook out of the first fish they catch. We are terrified if we go away or wait too long, we will miss out on those memories with our loved ones who are growing older.

How is that a way to live? I struggle with this every single day, but I can tell you one thing I have learned is to do what I can. I eat dinner with my parents. I call my grandparents when I can. I leave work early if my nephews are sleeping over. I remind those I love how much they mean to me. Although I can’t always do this, when I have an opportunity to cross something off my bucket list, the first people I go to are my parents. I have jumped out of a plane with my dad and done Aerial yoga with mom. Hell, for Christmas last year, I paid for my parents to go to Ireland and I surprised them there. Soon I won’t be living at home anymore or a quick 15-minute drive to my grandparents. Soon I will have to grow up, make those payments and start my own life. Although that is soon, that is not today. Today I will be thankful for where I am at and for those around me.

Stay true to your friends. Remember the important dates and be there for them. Call them or text them to congratulate them when they succeed. Face-time them and hear them out when they need to vent. I can say at 24 I see my friends less than I ever have. But weirdly enough, I feel so much closer to them than ever. When we meet up for that first happy hour in weeks or even months, it is the greatest night. We have so much to catch up on and I laugh until I pee my pants. I know I will grow old with them and I am grateful that our bonds are strong enough. With our history together we are able to pick up right where we left off, and make it through the time in-between.

Now I am not sure if I said anything that actually stops you from feeling pulled in all directions, but I hope I was able to ease you mind knowing that if you are feeling this way, you are not alone. Talk to people when you’re struggling and most importantly follow your heart. I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason and at the right time. Stay true to you.